I don’t believe in the crap that one day you’ll wake up and everything will be okay. Every day, you’ll have to get up and try to change your perspective towards what left you devastated. Change and healthy habits demand time and consistency, nothing happens overnight, especially not moving on.

Start With Acknowledgement.

Acknowledge that something bad happened to you and acknowledge the fact that it doesn’t necessarily have to destroy you.

Stop Feeling Regret.

You may have heard this many times but there’s literally no way you can go back and change anything at all. What wasn’t meant to be, wasn’t meant to be whether it was good or bad. What was meant to be, it happened whether it was good or bad. Choose acceptance.

Accept everything that has happened and accept who you’ve become because of it. Without acknowledgement and acceptance, there is not much room left for improvement. And even if you’ve made mistakes, accept them as this could be the only reason which can be holding you back from correcting them or learning from them and moving on with your life. Most importantly, don’t be rough on yourself for feeling what you do, be considerate with your emotions as you would with a loved one. You cannot heal from an ordeal without feeling it. Whatever it is that you’ve suffered from, treat your wound as a child, treat it as your own until the pain is ready to heal.

Find reasons of why what happened had to happen? And make reason with the reasons If you can’t find any, maybe you weren’t meant to know yet. We will never have all the answers in life anyway but that does not mean we should stop learning what we still can and grow from it.

Forgive yourself first and foremost and then forgive others too, as the wise have said it, forgiveness sets you free, it’s all about you. And it won’t be easy you will have to try and convince yourself bit by bit every day to forgive yourself. For some people, forgiveness comes easy for themselves and for some, it’s easy to forgive others but not themselves.

There are many books, many articles and what not that you’ll find which say forgive yourself but these words only become reality when you apply them to your life.

Let Go.

When what caused you pain and the pain itself wants to go, allow all of it to go. You might want to hold onto the pain because it may feel like something so powerful would never enter your life again but it will. The healing will be much more powerful no matter if it all comes together as closure or in bits and pieces like occasional dose of medicine, trust the process enough to know, it will come.

Life is so much more about than just one purpose, one person and one passion. There are always so many reasons to live for, and trust me when I say it, you’ll find them when you start opening your heart to the belief that there still is a possibility of finding not just one but many.

Make efforts to move forward even if it’s just forcing yourself out of bed every morning or pushing yourself for something every day a minute more.

In fact, make that one minute your motto, that’s what someone wise once told me that whenever you feel like giving up, push yourself for one more minute until you get used to it.

That’s how that one minute will make you the change you dream to be one day.

And no, everything will still not be okay but you will learn how to make it okay.

Tough but Warm Love,
Amna Dhanani.

Learn and understand your emotions better with Phases of Lily, a book with simple words yet, deeper meaning.